Why We May Still Need Facebook to Validate Our Self-Esteem

[Bayu TNI]

Why We May Still Need Facebook to Validate Our Self-Esteem

The role that social media plays in validating our sense of worth

We’ve all experienced it. A person says a little comment either about us or about the people and things we like, and that little comment either makes our day or ruins it. What great power a little comment had!
It’s good if that comment validates our self-esteem, and if after hearing it, we like ourselves better. But what if that comment is contrary to how we see ourselves? What if it discourages us and affects our self-worth?
In a world where social media signifies much more than our personal encounters do, we can’t ignore how the number of views, hearts and likes affect the way we see ourselves. At the back of our minds are unspoken questions we hardly realize are there. How many people cared about what I have just posted? Did I look pleasing in my photos? Why did this person not even respond to what I wrote?
Sooner or later, social media validation becomes a habit we couldn’t get rid of. A little while more and then it becomes an addiction. And if we’re not careful, that addiction leads the way to anxiety and depression.
Do we really need Facebook, Instagram or Twitter to validate our self-worth?
I think the answer is yes and no.
Our answer may be no because we could already get the validation we need elsewhere. Maybe we don’t even use social media that often. Maybe we have family and friends who are there for us, supporting us and letting us know how we are valued and loved.
On the other hand, our answer may be yes because of various reasons. We need it because we can’t find it in our face to face interactions with people. We need it because we have been used to it and it’s the only way we felt we could satisfy our thirst for that little bit of attention and concern.
While we can boldly say that social media should not make any difference at all to our self-esteem, I think it is hard to conclude that it serves no purpose however little to those who need the smallest sign of validation in their lives.
Because this is the power each of us truly has, that we can make a difference in the life of another person with our simplest gestures and our smallest deeds of kindness. The ability of a small emoticon we send to make another person smile. That power of a sweet comment we write to help another person feel that he or she is not alone.
Nobody is always strong enough to resist feeling down. Rare is the person who could always say that one’s sense of worth is so strong it can’t be affected anymore by what everybody else says.
This is not to advise against building up our own sense of worth that could withstand harsh words from without. This is also not to advise against seeking a Higher Power who should be the very source of our identity and dignity as a person.
This is to acknowledge our vulnerabilities and the way we should also see the vulnerability of other people. This is to create in us a sense of responsibility for the way we talk and respond to one another.
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We often have the power to hurt or to heal the people around us. May we choose today the best that we can do to spread kindness, compassion and love.
“Sooner or later all mankind will realize that the greatest cure for all the ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrow and crimes of humanity rests solely in acts of love. Love is the greatest gift from God. It is the divine spark that everywhere produces and restores life. To each and every one of us, love gives us the power to work miracles with your own life and those we touch. ” — Og Mandino